Sunday, April 06, 2008

Olech and Lindsay's Wedding

The Guier and Bullard families never disappoint. I knew that Olech and Lindsay's wedding would be no different. The wedding itself was picture perfect--Olech looked very dapper in his tuxedo, like a cowboy hemmed into a fine suit, but with none of the cowboy awkwardness. Lindsay was stunningly beautiful in her gown, like a Hollywood movie starlet.

Mike and I had planned to wear kilts at the wedding, but when Mike's flight got canceled, and he couldn't make the wedding, I was left with a decision to still wear the kilt or not. I finally decided to go ahead and wear the darn thing. (I know, big surprise.)

Well, the tone for the evening was set right at the beginning, when Grandma Bullard (Olech's grandmother, not mine)--who is eighty years old and feisty as a cougar--walked up to me, grabbed my left butt-cheek squarely in hand, and asked, "So, you gonna show me what you got under there?"

"Maybe later, Grandma," I stammered. "Let me have a few drinks first!"

For the rest of the night, I fought off her advances. Dad even swatted her hand away when it went "creeping" up my kilt.

Grandma dragged me out on the dance floor, and I twirled her about. For eighty years old, she is a fine dancer! I figure Grandma's outlook is, "You know, I'm eighty years old, and I'm going to do whatever I damn-well want to!"

Grandma eventually did find out what was under my kilt, but that is a story perhaps for a different kind of blog!

The other benefit of the kilt was all the drinks it got me. I didn't pay for a drink all night. Gary and Joey were kind enough to keep me well lubricated with my favorite whiskies: Macallan 12 year, Macallan 18 year, Ardbeg 10 year, and Laphroiag 15 year. It was a very good night! (Thank you, gents! My turn to buy, next time!)

In all, Bob, Terry and Lindsay's mother, Susan, threw an excellent wedding and an even more amazing reception party. Susan was gracious as the mother of the bride, and of course, every eye was wet when Lindsay played a photo-montage to her father, Jerry, who died only a few months before the wedding.

Bob is a few thousand dollars lighter. Terry can finally relax from all the OCD tasks a wedding like this demands of her.

And Olech and Lindsay... they are now on their way to Playa del Carmen, exhausted from their wedding weekend.

God bless them! They make a fine couple.

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