Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It's Time to Fly...

A funny thing happened to me on the airplane yesterday. Barry and I were once again flying out to the west coast for a week of business meetings. I was lucky to be sitting in the aisle bulkhead seat on this very full five hour flight. Barry was only slightly less lucky, sitting one row behind me in a middle seat.

The flight attendant was making her final preparations for take-off, when she nearly dropped a bag from the overhead compartment onto my head. Nearly dropped. But she must have thought she really hit me, for she grabbed my head with both hands, apologizing profusely, and with one hand cradling each ear, she kissed me squarely on the top of the head.

Hullo, baby!

Embarrassed, I glanced back at Barry. He gave me that wink-wink-nudge-nudge smirk that said he had seen it all. Very odd, that kiss.

I thought about this all during the take off. I finally came to the realization that I have now crossed a specific threshold in my life. I must now be sufficiently bald so as to invite head kisses from random strangers. This is not an unusual phenomenon--ciliaphyllism. My dad has been bald for decades, and he's always getting his pate kissed, or polished, or buffed. There's a certain category of women who love to lavish attention on bald and balding men.

So it appears I am now in the chrome-dome club. I better order that travel-sized can of Pledge.

10 comments:

glenn said...

OMG! Did the stew give you a “motorboat”?!?!

Sue, I say! Sue like a scalded McDonalds coffee drinker!

You are above being treated like a sex object; you have a mind and a soul too! No? Me neither….

Matt and Deachi said...

You crack me up Scott!

Dad said...

Bald IS beautiful! It just takes a while to realize that. Don't worry Scott, bigger and better events await you.

Mom said...

Your Father is obviously referring to his experiences in a bar where he was a willing? unwilling? participant in judging the size of the jugs encased in the wet t-shirts that were unceremoneously plopped on his bald head! He was the envy of every man in the bar!I'm sure your expression was no more surprised than his!

Scott said...

Wow, I'm impressed! Impressed that my parents would attend such an event.

I have a new found respect for you guys!

Chuck said...

Wow, that is a milestone. It's like the first time an adult calls you "sir", or the first time you don't get carded.

A bald man's head is like a pregnant woman's belly -- so round, so shiny, so full of potential. It's like Buddha, good luck to rub it.

Chuck said...

Google doesn't know about ciliaphyllism. That was weird, I haven't seen that happen in such a long time...

Scott said...

I coined that term to be cute.

mdautrich said...

I love your blog...you just seem to have a way with words!

Barry said...

I think you have this to look forward to:
Bald Lover

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